When A Prefect Gets Hit By Lightning
by Mad Exorcism
Summary: Hibari Kyoya is a dangerous prefect at Namimori Middle School until he gets hit by lightning. Now everyone has a very hectic and chaotic Hibari Kyoya with a mind of a five year old. Everyone has to find out what happened if they want to stay sane.


Author's Notes: Hallow! This is Mad Exorcism saying, welcome to my first fic. I've been a long time reader on this site and soon I felt that I should post some too! Now, this is probably one of the most craziest and crackiest ones you'll ever read. Please direct all complaints to the person who is narrating this.

Yeah, I wrote this, but somebody else is telling the story. I want to see if somebody could tell the common thing Hibari Kyoya and the narrator is sharing. The person will be revealed on the bold part of the story, which is at the end. Anyway, I hope you like this and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

By the way, I'm not bashing Kyoya. I love him and I feel that he needs those cute moments.

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When A Prefect Gets Hit By Lightning

Chapter 1:The Day It All Started

"I'll bite you to death, herbivores."

That was Hibari Kyoya, Namimori Middle School's head prefect. He goes around "biting" people if they're disturbing the peace of his beloved school. No, he doesn't literally takes a chunk of someone's flesh into his mouth. That's disgusting. In case you're laughing, stop it. Seriously. He might hear you. He has two fat ass steel sticks and whacks people (even girls! How rude can this guy get?) with it to even the point that they stop moving and blood would dance all around that person. In other words they're as good as dead. Oh, but how does he escape the law? Simple. His juvenile delinquents burying the bodies and make it seem that it never happened. Its either that Japan has a really crappy law system or everyone is too scared of a sixteen year old boy who wields tonfas and excels in martial arts. Come on, is it really hard to restrain this guy? Hasn't anyone thought about— let's say— three thousand men armed with the latest and most proficient weapons to take this teen down! All they have to do is all shoot at the same time, even if the guy turns out dead at the end. Though there's a ninety percent chance they'll fail. Anyways…

Blood tickled down his tonfas (steel sticks!) as his coat still hand onto his shoulder despite the strong wings. Seriously, how does he do that? He isn't even wearing it in his arms yet its _still _on him! Last time I checked only characters who're usually midgets with ridiculous hair are the only ones with the power to defy gravity! Back to the topic at hand…

"That's what you get for crowding around."

Okay, I forgot to mention that this guy has a major problem with crowds. He thinks they're an eyesore so he beats the crap out of them. Nobody knows if this is just an excuse to break some bones, but one thing is for sure, this guy has issues.

… Its also a good thing that I'm just narrating this and he doesn't know who I am or else he would have found me and rip me to shreds before I could even blink in shock. Then again I can't die from cuts. I have this special ability to turn to water. The only way to defeat me is to put inside a huge pot and trap me there until I literally melt to my water form and evaporate. If you can't find a gigantic pot, just put me in a sauna. Those things are evil!

And I realized that I just gave out my weakness. Unfortunately for the fan girls who are furious with the insults I spit out at Hibari Kyoya, will not be able to find me. As if I would tell any of you!

His prefects (who all didn't form a group) began to gather the bodies one by one as a part of "cleaning up". After all Hibari doesn't want any dead or unconscious herbivores on his precious palace! Yawing, he began to make his way to the school's roof where he'll take a nap like always.

Everyone was in class and so the hallways were empty. Hibari leisurely followed the path up to the roof. Once he was there he settled himself against the cool cement and he smiled at the peacefulness and tranquility that enshrouded him. His mood got even better when the Namimori Middle School's school anthem traveled through the air. It came from his phone. He waited for a few moments, enjoying the vocals before deciding to check who it is. To his dismay it was that bucking bronco who loved to annoy him at least twice a day. The prefect frowned, but soon a smirk formed on his lips when he thought of a way to avoid it.

He casually pressed the off button of his cell phone.

Normally he would chat with the man and throw insults at him so he could leave him alone. Today was just so tiring so he decided to ignore him.

Somewhere else an Italian blonde in his grand mansion began to yell a string of profanity.

"I can't believe it!" Dino yelled, "That brat purposely didn't answer me! Not only is he not letting me talk to him, he wouldn't even let me see him!"

So there was this dude named Dino, the tenth generation mafia boss of the Cavallone (or Chiavarone. Seriously, what the heck is it internet?) which literally means "Big Horse". Unfortunately the mafia isn't full of horses, but they are men! This is proven when I personally went to Italy to see if I could see some horses. I was kicked out immediately. The Cavallone is one of the biggest mafias out there. I don't know whatever possessed the clumsy pony to fall over heels to the most perilous person in Namimori, Hibari Kyoya. Both men met when the infant, Reborn, felt that Hibari was lacking a bit and so he hired Dino as his tutor. While this man feels love; the other only has the lust to fight the older dude. And so began the tale of a very one-sided relationship.

"But sir," said Romario, Dino's most trusted subordinate, "you have to go to several meetings today-"

"Romario," Dino said and stopped briefly at each syllable. Venom was obviously in the klutz voice and the man started to shiver in fear. Anyone who defied him was literally digging their grave. Despite having a very happy grin on the adult's face, it was just a mirage and one could truly tell that if he anymore, it would be the end of his life. And so Romario didn't say anything else.

"Let's go visit Kyoya!" Pause. Dino's face darkened and an ominous feeling filled the room instantly. If it could been more worse then dark purple atmosphere would have swallowed the whole place and his eyes would have shined in an evil shade of gold instead of his usual dark brown ones. "I'm going to make him understand a few things." No later than that, his bright and cheery attitude swiftly came back and he with new found joy he began to skip happily to the helicopter bound for Namimori, Japan.

Back to our psychotic perfect…

He was enjoying his afternoon nap and there was absolutely no interruptions. Hibird (what kind of name is that? Come on, **Hi**bari = **Hi**bird? I guess I could name my Sasuke doll Suisuke!… Never mind that. Forget I ever said anything),his bird, just recently came in and nested in his mess of silky black hair. Both master and animal was content and sleeping until-

_Slam!_

Hibird flew off. Kyoya's eyes snapped open and he glared at the person who dared disturb his sleep.

Let me explain another thing, this guy has EXTREME hearing. In fact its so EXTREME that he could even hear the sound of a petal gently falling to the ground. He put animals to shame. Though it's a wonder why he couldn't hear bombs exploding in the distance. I do not get it.

"Bucking bronco…" the Japanese teen mumbled to himself and his eyes twinkled with delight. Immediately he took his tonfas out of his jacket. Yet another mystery. This guy can produce his weapons out of nowhere. Not sure if he could do it in just his boxers or briefs (gosh, now I sound so weird. I'm pretty sure he wears boxers than briefs though. I'm not trying to imagine if he doesn't wear them at all). His blood was boiling and he was excited for the battle he was anticipating. This man was good at fighting. Oh how he wanted to "bite" this man to death for shaming him so much. He will be the cause of the blonde's death. To his dismay, he will not get what he want. He will not get his revenge.

"Kyoya," the Cavallone's voice carried nothing but seriousness. "We both need to talk. Now." A smirk appeared in the prefect's lip. As if he would want to do that. All he wanted was to slam his tonfa to the man's stomach and hear his pitiful cries.

"Oh? What makes you think I'm going to follow you?"

Dino's eyes narrowed and now he was giving Hibari "the look". It was so intense that it made the usual stoic teen's face to slightly quiver in fear.

"Get inside the school." Knowing our little prefect he will not allow to get even a scratch on the walls. If they were both there then a fight would not break out.

He wasn't sure but he obeyed without no more arguments. Hibari cursed his legs for starting to move on it's own. This man was not superior to him! It was the first time in a long time that he actually followed someone orders. It was usually him who was ordering- or what I think is more suitable, threatening- the people, younger or older, to do what he say.

It was also the first time he considered anyone, with the exception of himself, to be a carnivore. He hated to admit it, but the guy was EXTREMELY strong. Slowly he wanted to take the title away from him.

The moment they were in the hallways of the second floor, Dino put his plan to action. On his way to Japan in his super duper high speed jet, he though about a way to somehow say what he was feeling to Kyoya. These were his options he came up with:

**a) **Dino would go to the flower shop and purchase roses. Then he would go to the bakery and buy something sweet he things Kyoya will like. Of course he had no idea if Kyoya even ate sweets. Though he would buy something anyway. With his immense power with money, he would go to the jewelry store and get the most shiniest, prettiest, and most expensive diamond engagement ring. Everything set is prepared and so he will run to Namimori Middle School and scream his love for him with fireworks in the air and then he'll ask Kyoya to marry him! After that they'll be get married a-and then go on a honey moon and Kyoya will get pregnant and-

Then Dino realized how ridiculous that sounded and Kyoya wasn't even a girl. Plus he was like, what, six years older than him. The teen isn't even allowed to drink yet! Dino scratched that off. Kyoya doesn't even know he has an interest on him!

**b) **Dino would hire the most dangerous man on the mafia and try to get Hibari Kyoya on a life and death match. He will make sure that his skylark would not die from blood loss or break any bones or the such. When Kyoya is about to pass out, he sweeps in, beats the man until he's unconscious, carry Kyoya onto his arms, and confess his undying love for him in the hospital he was stationed in.

Thinking about it, he couldn't risk it. Another plan!

Then he find out he didn't have a plan C.

'_Ah, just screw it! I'll just go there and kiss him passionately! From past girlfriends I could say with dignity that I am a very good kisser!'_

And so he went with that.

How wrong he was for thinking he can rill in Hibari Kyoya.

So Dino slammed the poor teenager to the wall with a loud bang. Fortunately (for Dino), it wasn't loud enough to get people out peeking through the doors in interest.

Hibari thought that we was going to get killed before he could even attack. He was wrong too for thinking something that isn't true. Within the moment his back came in contact with the grey wall, he became paralyzed with shock. And then in a few seconds, he felt his tongue getting assaulted.

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick-_

(TICK TOCK ON THE CLOCK!)

'_What. The. Fudge?' _were his thoughts. The last word is actually- you know- a bad word, but I don't want to get sued for lying that this is actually a rated mature fic instead of a teen one.

So whatever the blonde guy was doing to him lasted for about a minute, no breaks. Hibari wasn't sure what was happening. He got his answer soon enough.

"… Kyoya?" Apparently the prefect was so engrossed in space that Dino had to wait his hand in front of him. He snapped back to reality.

"What?"

"Did you like it?"

"Like what?"

And so the boss sighed.

"Did you like my kiss?"

'_Oh, that was a kiss? I thought he was trying to get me off guard so he could-'_ Hibari frowned. Did the man just showed affection to him? Especially in public? Why? And why him?

The Discipline Committee chairman hated to admit it, but he couldn't lie. He actually _finds _Dino to be quite, _hot…_ Of course he wasn't crazy enough to fall for him. It was even harder since he was crushing a bit on a dude. He was NOT homosexual.

Somewhere else I know a certain thirteen year old girl in America is screaming at me that it isn't true and that Hibari Kyoya is in fact in love with Dino. "He doesn't realize it," she'll say. Mad Exorcism, also the mad chick who told me about this guy, is seriously needing to get a reality check.

"For daring to lie to me, I'll bite you to death, herbivore." Kyoya does not buy this guy's words. For a second he did, but that was in the past. He thinks this is all an act, a façade, to get him careless at one moment and he'll meet his end right there.

Dino flinched.

"Er… Listen Kyoya," once again he pinned the smaller person to the wall.

Unknown to both men, Romario was well hidden in a tree that could fully see the scene in the hallways. His mouth was widely open as he watch the events unfold in front of him. He knew that his boss had a huge interest on this teen. Everyday he would call the prefect and ask what he was doing and the such. Then everyday after their daily conversations he would order a bunch of people to install cameras all over the prefect's house. Romario and some others managed to keep their boss from telling the squad to install one at the bathroom.

It was a wonder how the usual happy Dino was now dead serious and unclumsy (I just realize that it isn't a word!) when his men around. He knew perfectly well that his boss would trip and fall flat on his face even if there was no obstacle in front of him. Just seeing him being on his face was really amazing. Thinking that his boss will rape a sixteen year old; very surprised and scared. Being paralyzed and unable to do anything; depressing.

"I have a confession to make," Dino said and leaned in to say something to him. "I love you." He instantly released the boy who was in a complete trance, awaiting for his response.

'_There's two options,'_ Hibari thought. _'I can say something or go do what Yamamoto Takeshi attempted to do: suicide.' _He went with the latter.

Just because he was skilled with torture, making his victims cry for mercy, and martial arts doesn't mean he has mad social skills. He doesn't have any friends (I swear, Mad Exorcism is probably going: "I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND, KYOYA!, right now) and when there are brave souls that ask him why he doesn't have any, he simply states that its mingling. Then he proceeds to put them into the hospital. He also doesn't know how to response to a sudden confession.

Hibari stoically made his way his way back to the school roof, ignoring all the frantic cries and pleas of the Cavallone. Nosy heads popped out through the doors and Hibari didn't pay them any mind even if they were crowding. All he wanted was to get out of this confusing situation.

At last he arrived to his destination and he stared at the metal fence. He glared at it as he began to imagine it's eyes and mouth, laughing evilly at him and daring for him to jump. He converted his attention to the ground level. When he falls he'll simply go, splat.

… Not really. It would be more like the cracking of bones and if he was a wimp, a scream could be heard, if he somehow survived. He was tough like that.

After seeing his pathetic death and realizing his craziness, he reconsidered. When he turned around he flinched at the sight of the bronco. The guy's face is dark, disappointed, and very melancholy. Its as if he'll whole being will break if became a bit more upset. Half of his face was blocked by his delicious curly blonde locks (… What. Am. I. Writing?).

"Kyoya, tell me, do you love me back?"

Hibari was in a huge dilemma. Maybe committing suicide was a better thing than facing the problem. He chose to be oblivious to the very simple question. _'Do you love me back?'_ Hibari tried to mimic Dino's voice. _'Am I suppose to?' _He knows that he's attracted to women…

Maybe the last one he wasn't so sure about. He just hadn't found that special someone yet! Though he sometimes wondered if he will ever get a wife one day.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he just noticed the rain going to cats and dogs mode. To think about it, when did it start crying? By now both men were completely drenched from heaven's fatass tears. It was such a coincidence that it started on the day both were feeling very confused, scared, and sad. The prefect perfectly (wow… two words that sound so alike and looks alike right next to each other!) knew that the news said that it was going to be sunny the whole day! For messing up his clothes and getting him a cold in the near future, he'll bite them to death… if he doesn't say goodbye to this world before that happens.

The weather was like responding to their current feelings.

One word came out of Hibari's lips, "No." It was barely audible, but Dino was somehow able to hear it clearly.

"Are you sure?" Dino asked hopefully. He was thinking maybe he heard it wrong or he changed his mind quickly.

"Yes." Dino's hope shattered.

A blessed shower they say were the rain. Now the weather was turning into more like a storm. Lightining was becoming common in a rapid pace in the distance. His tutor had long left with a sentence which had a gloomy tone.

"I hope you become happy in the future."

Then all of the sudden Hibari began to cough violently. The bell rang signaling the end of school and stood up weakly. It was a good time to go home.

The streets were filled with people even if it was raining very heavily. They all have umbrellas in their possession while he didn't. He broke into a run when his cold and cough began to act up again.

Thunder roared dangerously near him. Hibari kept his head low and he concentrated on the puddles while still trying to get that bronco off his head. Maybe he was going to be alone for the rest of his life. Perhaps when all of his colleagues and former classmateshave a very sunny life while he'll still have that rain cloud above him. What does that guy expect him to do anyway? Scream and say he loves him too (I know she is definitely yelling that right now)? As if he had feelings for him. There was only the desire to "bite" that man to death. The desire to make him finally see that Hibari Kyoya was absolutely stronger than him. That's all there is to it. Nothing more and-

_ZZZZZAP! _

Lightning has struck our beloved protagonist. His eyes were wide from the sudden pain and he didn't scream out loud. He was brave like that. Looks like somebody forgot that steel attracts electricity! Even if it was so intense, he was lucky enough not to die. He fell to the cold and wet cement with a loud thud. His eyes lost life within them and they slowly shut close by themselves.

Let's he stayed there for five minutes until he finally awoken from dream land. _'Strange' _said the prefect when he opened his eyes and started to look around desperately. _'Last time I checked I was with the rabbit_ _with the golden watch who often yelled "I'm late!". Then I heard he was eaten by the Big Bad Wolf! The three really obese pigs told me to go and find him so I could get Mr. Rabbit back with the blood stained axe!' _His eyes carried innocence and it was a lot bigger than the usual cold and narrow ones. They were, in fact, as big as Chrome's purple eyes and as narrow as Sawada Tsunayoshi's brown ones. Then a grin mysteriously appeared on his face.

"Neh, I'll get use to this!" Then he started to sprint to his apartment while happily humming a childish song.

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**I just finished typing on the old typewriter that Kabuto previously used and I fell on my soft bed. Chapter one was just finished and I realized how depressing it was. '**_**Don't worry my readers!**_**' I thought. **_**'Our main character will make things very awkward and funny later**_**.'**

**Yes, I will make this guy suffer more than I intended to with Dino as his secret admirer. Yesh… My plan is going very well… I SHALL BRING HELL TO THIS BASTARD! MWUAHAHAHA!**

**I continued to laugh maniacally until our "leader" came to my door looking at me with his usual emotionless eyes.**

"**What are you laughing at?" Sasuke said. What the heck? I stuck needles through my Sasuke voodoo doll! Why isn't he holding his ass from the pain that's suppose to be there? I made a note to murder the lady that sold me this junk.**

"**Nothing," I answered.**

"**Suigetsu," he said my name! "…"**

**And he left without saying another word. Jeez, what an emo.**

**I also didn't predict the massive amount of hate mail from Hibari Kyoya fan girls in the future. I'm convinced that they'll hunt me down, along with Uchiha Sasuke fan girls. Dammit. Me and my big mouth.**

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Author's Notes: 3750 words not including this and the above notes…

Hello, I congratulate you if you read until the end. I lost my interest writing it because it was so dang depressing and gay! Though I know I'll enjoy typing the next chapter and the next and the next. Hopefully.

Some of you guys are probably wondering, "What the heck is going through Hibari-san's head?" That ladies and gentlemen are the scent of psychological disorder… or it is for the time being.

So please tell me if you enjoyed it or not. I really couldn't blame you people if you said it was sucky. There are way too much added scenes that isn't suppose to be there and I felt that this needs major editing. I feel such a failure. XD. I'll make sure to edit this in the future. Arg… So anyway,

Ciao.

P.S.: I just realized that how Kyoya's personality is transformed is just like how Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants switched his personality! =D. I wasn't even thinking of that when I was writing this until the very end! The only difference is that Hibari was directly hit by lightning while Squidward was hit by electricity through his weird anti-Spongebob and Patrick defense. In the end they still got through. XD


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